Lance Armstrong is a Douche (especially on Twitter)

Lance Armstrong is a Douche.  There.  I said it.

He’s one of the greatest cyclists ever, but yes, he’s also a Douche.  True to his name, HateThePlayer is here to give you three reasons why Lance Armstrong is a Douche:

  1. Lance Armstrong is now on Twitter.   The funny thing is that he has 2,853 followers (or readers of his Twitters (aka Tweets)) but he is only following two people!  (both of whom are related to his foundation).  He’s far too cool to bother with whatever anybody else thinks – what an arrogant douche!   Check his Lance Armstrong Twitter.  … oh yeah, and his Tweets are super weak.
  2. My friend’s little brother accidentally bumped into him once at the mall and Lance growled at him to watch where the hell he was going.  True story.
  3. Well, this picture speaks for itself.   You gotta hate this player: She’s about 12 years old, and he’s about 40 (and looks like Gary Busey)
Lance Armstrong is a Douche

Lance Armstrong is a Douche

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40 Responses to Lance Armstrong is a Douche (especially on Twitter)

  1. EPO_Pro says:

    Reason #4 that Lance is a douche: Read his book “It’s Not About The Bike” without the rose tinted glasses of hero worship. It’s a great story but he really comes off as an arrogant asshole who has no understanding of his emotions or even motivations. Every 5th page he states that he has no abandonment issues with his father; if he had any more “daddy issues” he’d be having goat sex on the internet.

  2. lemond23 says:

    are you guys serious? the greatest cylist on the face of the planet bumps into your friend so he is a douche? he is arrogant? give me a bloody break the man has won 7 tours and youre upset that he seems to have a bit of arrogance about him… unreal… as if beating the piss out of the field in every tour he has ridden wasnt enough the man beat cancer too… give it a rest the lot of you

  3. David says:

    He beat cancer? lol…wow how couragous of him

  4. Rach says:

    Reasons to not care if Lance Armstrong is a douche (even if he is a douche…)

    -He’s the best cyclist ever
    -He’s hot as hell
    -He’s actually a pretty nice guy if you talk to him when he’s in a good mood
    -He’s bad at making video blogs
    -he gives a ton of money to cancer
    -I’d bang an Olsen too and I’m not even a lesbian
    the end

  5. Terry O'Leary says:

    Champions like Lance Armstrong to the sporting world and to his public fight against cancer have to cop this type of critism – amazing I can not believe what people will say to bring down others………..What will they say if you win a couple of stages in the 2009 tour de france ???????????

  6. hatetheplayer says:

    Douche, dick, call him what you may: http://www.dickipedia.org/dick.php?title=Lance_Armstrong

  7. Liz says:

    Lance is a douche. His book completely displays that.

  8. Liv says:

    why are you so up lance? i mean, not every one has to be all bright and happy. so what if he’s arrogant, if ur neighbour was like that, would you go posting it on the internet and start all on about them? i don’t think so, so just lay off him. his probably like that cos the media is up his backside all the time

  9. Clay says:

    I hate having to agree with this, but Lance Armstrong on a bicycle is amazing. Lance Armstrong as an advocate for cancer research is amazing. Lance Armstrong the person leaves a lot of questions about how nice of a person he really is.

    I myself prefer Greg Lemond as America’s cycling hero. Lemond has an amazing story to be told as well, and I rode with him a few years ago in Wisconsin. Great guy. His bad press comes from trying to clean up the sport and test fairly, which is sad.

  10. hatetheplayer says:

    If you write a comment simply attacking the author it won’t get posted, although maybe it will if it’s funny. But if you attempt to defend Lance and argue your point even weakly, it’ll get posted. Just add some value and you’re good.

    Also readers, you don’t have to get super pissed. Lance isn’t worthless, he’s great in many ways, but he’s also a douche. Those things can coexist in one man. Sorry to inform you that he’s not perfect!

  11. love the plater says:

    glad you hate him but he’s a celebrity and I know plenty of people, probably including yourself who have had a bad day and barked at someone, like your brother in the mall. And maybe he’s not the most happy-go-luckiest person on earth but he’s been through a hell of a lot more than most people…while he was in the public eye. I think you need to take a step back and stop being so arrogant. He’s given a lot of people faith, and if the hero of many, for his athletic ability.

  12. Jedd says:

    1: Do you really think he has the time to follow people on Twitter?

    2: Your friend should have been watching where he’s going. How can you argue with that?

    3: She is 21, he is 37. I doubt it’s anything serious anyways but, she’s an adult.

    And, as for him being arrogant, he’s earned it. I think you’d be hard pressed to find such a stellar athlete who isn’t. Although they might try to hide it more, for the sake of selling shoes or whatever. At least he’s honest and HIGHLY charitable.

  13. dave says:

    You can have a few new reasons:

    Armstrong sues an animal advocacy group for using the color yellow on their charity bracelet. The Douche owns Yellow.

    Armstrong breaks up with Crowe on the reason she wanted kids (although it was about the cancer she had being a downer), but then knocks up a woman months later.

    He also does the “you’ll never work in this town again” to waiters and bar bouncers.

    http://austinist.com/2008/02/04/lance_throws_hi.php

  14. DAJ says:

    Yeah … no offense to anyone out there but if your calling someone a Douche because they wont follow you on Twitter, Facebook, or any other on-line popularity contest, your sad. Who really cares who he “follows” with his on-line profiles/names/whatever? Cut the cord from the internet and you might actually do something.

    Plus, if anyone ran into your friends little brother at the mall, and I’m assuming you mean literally ran into him, most people would have the same response. Just because he supports fighting cancer doesn’t make him a saint.

    Finally, I guarantee that if you could be in that picture with a pretty little blonde curled into your chest, you wouldn’t be complaining about it. Thats an age old basic reaction for the average guy to insult and get pissed off at someone that has a better girl than he does.

    No one is perfect. (Really? Says who?) It doesn’t matter what they’ve done or who they are or where they’re going, no one is perfect. And if your trying to say that not being perfect makes someone a douche, well then sign me up.
    Lance Armstrong has done a hell of a lot more with his life than pretty much anyone on here has. Myself included.

  15. Rachie says:

    I lived in Austin for 5 yrs where there are regular lance-sitings, and the general consensus is that the guy is definitely a total douche bag. i have heard countless stories from friends/coworkers/etc that had a run-in with him, and he was either a prick or a douche bag. one of my friends who is a bartender once had to help escort lance armstrong out of a warehouse district bar because he was shitface-wasted and PISSING ON THE FLOOR IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MENS BATHROOM BC HE DIDN’T WANT TO WAIT IN LINE. upon being escorted, he continued to shout the classic “do you know who i am!?” all the way out.

    if that doesn’t make it official, i don’t know what does.

  16. Mike says:

    Won 7 Tour De Frances (ON STEROIDS) which was administered through his cancer medication, thus undetectable.

  17. Krebs says:

    Lance Armstrong named most intersting athlete of the decade by Sports Illustraded. http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2009/magazine/specials/2000s/12/03/armstrong/index.html

  18. MSG says:

    ^^ yeah, I heard the same sort of things from other Austinites.

  19. Jack says:

    Goodness, the internet started as a means of spreading intelligence, now it has a given a voice to every jealous couch potato in America. Try hating a “douche” who has never accomplished anything, has inspired no one, and who doesn’t help caner victims. Did you see him at the Tour of California when he pushed a spectator down to get the spectator away from the cycling pack? Classic, Let’em hate! GO LANCE!

  20. Paul says:

    Lance has given countless sick people HOPE! Fuck all you haters. If a man dedicates his life to delivering hope to sick kids, he can do and screw whoever he freakin wants. He is a true warrior and an inspiration.

  21. JellyBellyS says:

    1st of all, that picture is a FAKE!!!

    2nd, Lance Armstrong is NOT a Douche for “Twitter”

    3rd, Lance Armstrong IS a Douche for what he did to Sheryl Crow! (IF what I read about it is true!)

    & 4th, Lance Armstrong stayed at the Hotel that MY Wife works at! (the night before he had that accident, a few days ago, in mid-May 2010)

    P.S. btw, 5th, & NO, I or MY Wife did NOT get to meet him! (he must have went out the back door!)

  22. Daviticus says:

    You Lance worshipers tell us to leave him alone, but why can’t you leave US alone??

  23. sweetie says:

    WHAT´S WRONG with you people ??? just because the guy is 15 years older than the woman doesnt mean anything…in most countries around the world , 15 years difference means zilch , nada , 0 , nothing …nowadays most couples have between 20 to 40 years difference in age , men being the older partner . and I disagree 100% with you mean spirited people about calling Lance a douche , if I were him I´d sue you for slander , you´re just jealous and ignorant ass…yourselves

  24. rbrain says:

    Douche both on and off the bike. As a fan, I stopped admiring Armstrong when he chased down another rider in a totally inconsequential break in the tour, all because that rider had testified against Lance’s favorite doping doctor/trainer/supplier. At that moment he took an amazing race and institution and trashed it with his petty BS. No class.

  25. nyliram87 says:

    LOL. He really does look like Gary Busey. True Story…:)

  26. Lou says:

    Grow up ass, greatest athlete on the planet, father, and he has a full time job with his foundation. Sure he’s intense, but my god tell your friend’s little brother to grow a pair.

  27. Joe says:

    This site is so fu*cking lame. Your douche

  28. EPO says:

    Lance Armstrong is pretty much like Adolf Hitler:
    * He is a douche
    * He has only one testicle
    * He killed the Jews
    * He is drug free

    …Okay, gotta admit I just made up the two last ones.

  29. scott brown says:

    They should recall all the yellow wristbands and melt them down and dip him in the hot yellow (wristband) rubber and proceed to let the public kick him around the italian alps! Tour de Douche that would be entertainment.

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